How MEN think in a relationship

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE
THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guys’ side of the
story. (I MUST ADMIT, IT’S PRETTY GOOD.)
WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES’ FROM THE
FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE
SIDE
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON
PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A
BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT
UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US
COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR
ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE
ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU
WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE
FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS
INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL
COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7
DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY
ARE. DON’T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED
TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU
SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT
BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT,
JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER
YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED
DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE
WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A
COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO
IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY
‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S
WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS
JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN
ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T
WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE,
ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE…
REALLY.
1.. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING
ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS
SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I
KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH
TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY
DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING…
PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN – TO
GIVE THEM A LAUGH…
PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN –
TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS
TRUE!